With the uncertain times ahead of us, as most of us are under stay home orders, social distancing and quarantines I wanted to bring some hope to those who have found their lives turned upside down, and everything seems to be in chaos.

You have worked outside the home, caring for your family, running endless errands and you handled it all so well, but now you feel like you are spinning in a downward spiral that will not stop.  Your well kept house has toys and clothes scattered everywhere.  The kids are running here and there and not using their inside voices… and somehow you have to hold yourself together to see that their school work is done.  You didn’t ask for this responsibility, but here it is.

First, take a deep breath!  Look around you… not at the mess, but at the beautiful children you are blessed to have!  You have been given a gold mine of treasures to uncover and discover in this moment.  I want to encourage you to look deep, and you will find it.

You say, who are you?  How do you know?  Well, I am a stay at home mom by my choosing for 24 years.  I raised four children and I home schooled them.  (Not with computers, but actual school books and I graded every assignment.)  Three have now graduated.  Through the years I even babysat other children.  Yes, I chose this, but it wasn’t always easy and there were days I felt very overwhelmed.

Let me offer some tidbits to help.   First, always remember to breathe!  This is nothing you can’t handle, you just have to find your stride.  You know your children better than anyone…what makes them happy, what makes them sad, what overwhelms them…. use that for your base.  Your children are used to a daily school schedule, so implement one that will work for you now.  Don’t be so rigid.  Flexibility is the key!   Let the kids pick a spot that will be their “school desk” for the day…. at the table, on the couch, in a fort, outside in the yard.  Give them a time limit to complete their assignments, just like the school bell rings.  While the schools have required work, remember not all learning comes from a book.  Explore your backyard, have a cooking class, make crafts, whatever will make learning fun!   There are so many ideas… just ask Google!  Even take the time to do random acts of kindness for friends or neighbors.

You say, ok so we’ve covered school, but what about the mess!  I hear you.  I can only handle not seeing the living room floor for so long and I start to have a panic attack.   I have found it is easier to clean up small messes than a disaster zone.  I like to have the kids clean up one thing before moving on to something else.  Make clean up time as much fun as getting all the toys out was!  Make it a game or a competition.  You’ll see the best results with smiles and laughter and less tears and threats!

Remember, it wasn’t just your daily routine that got turned upside down.  But the kids too.  Make sure to give everyone some time and space to themselves.   Quiet time keeps everyone at peace.  Even you!  Take time to read, listen to music, or something you enjoy.  If you don’t make time for quiet times, your day will always feel chaotic and overwhelming.   Take time to spend quality time, one on one, with your kids too.  They need to know they have your attention and that you care about the things they are concerned about.

Just remember we are all going to come through this.  Your family will come out stronger if you remember to not sweat the small stuff.  Yes, the milk will be spilled on the floor, the siblings will fight one minute and be hugging each other the next.  Keep your sanity.  Don’t try to do things like another family, or someone you’ve seen on social media that has it all together …. it’s probably not true!  Learn to laugh.  Make memories.  Take lots of photos to look back on and remember.

I didn’t have a lot of support for being a stay at home mom.  I was often told to send my kids to school and get a job.  It must have made people uncomfortable that they chose that for their family.  I don’t condemn you if that was your choice.  I feel for you now, that you feel overwhelmed, and maybe even some days you feel like a failure.  We’ve all felt that.  I’ve failed as a mom… we all have.   Just pick yourself up, apologize if you must, and try something new.  Reach out to friends… it is nice to share stories with someone who may be experiencing the same thing you are…. or maybe worse!  Laugh together!  Cry together!  And remember tomorrow…. well, it can always be better …. or maybe a little worse!

Just remember, this too shall pass!