I was not expecting to write about this at this time, but it is usually at times when things are being taught, that an incident happens to open your eyes, and make you realize you still need work it that area.

And leave it to a post on social media to open a wound!

The post was not directed towards me, it was actually a request from a friend. But the words used, and the person asking, is what stirred up the hurt again. Some time ago, I asked a request from this friend, but half way through, they decided that my request brought up past wounds, even though I had not done anything to them personally, and they never finished the request.

I have tried to keep in contact, and work through the issue with them, to reach a resolution; but all attempts have been rejected, pushed aside, and left unresolved. I have been deeply hurt by this instance, even though I know it is not personal. And as I read their post, I wanted to be mad at them. How dare they ask something from me, when they could not do what I asked of them?

And then I feel in my heart a check from the Holy Spirit. The scriptures that were just taught Sunday flood my mind and spirit. During the service I had asked God to help me forgive those who have hurt and rejected me, and here I am feeling hurt and angry again, not willing to forgive this person.

Then the parable from Matthew 18:21-35 (AMP) comes to mind. It says…
“21 Then Peter came up to Him and said, Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times?
22 Jesus answered him, I tell you, not up to seven times, but seventy times seven!
23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a human king who wished to settle accounts with his attendants.
24 When he began the accounting, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents [probably about $10,000,000],
25 And because he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and his children and everything that he possessed, and payment to be made.
26 So the attendant fell on his knees, begging him, Have patience with me and I will pay you everything.
27 And his master’s heart was moved with compassion, and he released him and forgave him [cancelling] the debt.
28 But that same attendant, as he went out, found one of his fellow attendants who owed him a hundred denarii [about twenty dollars]; and he caught him by the throat and said, Pay what you owe!
29 So his fellow attendant fell down and begged him earnestly, Give me time, and I will pay you all!
30 But he was unwilling, and he went out and had him put in prison till he should pay the debt.
31 When his fellow attendants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and told everything that had taken place to their master.
32 Then his master called him and said to him, You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave and cancelled all that [great] debt of yours because you begged me to.
33 And should you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow attendant, as I had pity and mercy on you?
34 And in wrath his master turned him over to the torturers (the jailers), till he should pay all that he owed.
35 So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses.”

So now, I check my heart. I have asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me of all my sins and short comings, and He has graciously given me mercy. And here I was, not offering mercy to my friend. No, they haven’t asked, but I still must forgive them. Obviously, I still need work in this area. And yes, there are going to be times that this flares up again. I will feel the hurt again, and feel that I am justified, but every time I must choose to forgive them.

And if I cannot, if I struggle, I pray. I tell the Lord that I want to forgive, but the hurt is too deep and I need His help to fully release the offense, and offer forgiveness freely. It is then that His mercy and grace begins to do a work in me. He binds up my wounds, brings healing, and as He does His work in me, I am able to forgive more freely.